By Laurie Christopher, Women of L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. 1ST

Even the greatest of navigators may find themselves lost from time to time.  If you are like most of us, you may have taken a wrong turn while driving, and hoped that if you just kept driving, you could find the right road.  Before you know it, you’re even more lost, wishing you would have taken a few minutes to pull over, assess where you are, and navigate directions on road map or GPS.

Just like driving, we also need a roadmap for our lives. A vision or a mission statement, that helps us find our way through life and provide direction and clarity.

No matter how many road blocks, and detours life may bring, your personal life map, can become your natural point of aim, which defines who you are and how you want to live your life. After all if you don’t know where you’re going, how will you ever get there?

Developing your own road map can be accomplished by writing a personal mission statement, which is a summary of our values, goals, relationships, and what we would like to accomplish with our lives.

Steven R. Covey offers the following suggestions in creating a mission statement:

Write down your roles as you now see them. Are you satisfied with the mirror image of  your life?

Start a collection of notes, quotes, and ideas you may want to use as resource material in writing your personal mission statement.

Identify a project you will be facing in the near future and apply the principle of mental creation. Write down the results you desire and what steps will lead you to those results.

Here is an example of my Personal Mission Statement, written in 1993, my statement still holds true to my life’s purpose today!

I shall live my life as a journey toward heaven

I will start with a clear path leaving the past behind

I will keep climbing toward the top accomplishing

one worthy goal to the next

If I stumble I will not stop

Just keep my eye on the goal and keep climbing

Along my journey I will be an inspiration to others

I will seek to be strong and courageous

Not allowing my weaknesses to shine through

I will be honest and kind to all living things

I will strive to strengthen my circle of influence daily

I will take time along the way to laugh and play

And appreciate life for what I have

Not frown on what I do not have

I will continue to learn about my higher power

Allowing God to be my partner in life

I will continue to strengthen, my mind with new ideas

And make specific efforts to keep current

With new discoveries of my profession and world

I will be a loving wife and strive daily to obtain

A healthy, happy marriage

I will seek to balance work and family

I will continue to contribute to those less fortunate then me

Whenever I start feeling defeated and wanting to give up,

I will remember my accomplishments and keep climbing

-Written by Laurie Christopher

Having grown up in a drug-ridden, abusive household, Laurie Christopher credits her difficult childhood for giving her the passion and strength to help make a difference in our world today. She also perseveres through various chronic illnesses. Laurie refuses to allow her childhood or illnesses to define who she is and hopes her messages of courage and perseverance inspire others to overcome challenges. Laurie has devoted the past 17 years of her career working in the affordable housing industry. She is the founder of a program called “Stepping Stones” which provides self-sufficiency training for low income families, the elderly and disabled. It is her vision to end third and fourth generation poverty by teaching tools necessary for self-sufficiency. Laurie resides with her family in Eagle, Idaho. Laurie joined the Women of L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. 1ST in May 2011.

Nicole D. Hayes, Women of L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. 1ST, Director

As the Women of L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. 1ST director, it was impressed upon my spirit to share a message with our ladies not yet married. I shared this message with others last year and it seems our society’s view on dating, relationships and singleness compels me to revisit the the subject. So brace yourselves for my direct  “keeping it 100″ gut check, and hopefully the message allows you to be okay with who you are, right where you’re at in life.

Some time ago, a man remarked, “What’s wrong with her?” with regard to a mid-thirties woman not yet married and without children. I almost came unglued. What did he mean by that?? Is he insinuating she is abnormal or defected? I myself am 37, not yet married and no children.  This is my choice and that of many women younger and older. I’ve lived purposefully, fulfilling and pursuing career, educational and personal goals. Yes, I’ve dated several men without them “putting a ring on it” but none were right for me, nor was I best for them. I do believe in marriage and welcome it. I do believe God has been preparing me to receive that special man.

I’ve wasted little time on men who would inevitably be unproductive for my future, just for the sake of having a man on my arm. I haven’t given myself to a slew of casual relationships, as otherwise encouraged by our society. Surely, if our society values healthy relationships, they would educate on the spiritual consequences of “settling” for what you shouldn’t. If I have no plans of bringing you along on the journey, I’m not giving you my body or hand in marriage to silence the ticking biological clock. If my eggs expire, then so be it. Why is it that a man and children has to define my ‘normal’? Why does society still equate our ‘success’ to the 1950’s status of women married with children and the white picket fence?

Women who know their worth don’t question such choices. Men, if you find yourself single at this moment perhaps you’re short on good character, integrity and valor—values that makes a real man’s life worth sharing in. So instead of you asking what’s wrong with her, I should ask, “What’s wrong with you?”

Today’s young women are challenged daily by “what’s normal” in relationships, and living as healthy, productive sexual beings. Our society values adultery, pornography, swinging and everything in between—but a woman who wants to wait and marry the right man, forsaking all fools, is considered abnormal, odd. I don’t get it. I’m taking a stand for our single women to encourage them to love their bodies, love their lives and know they are successful—with or without the man and children.

When you know your identity and your worth, you won’t settle for less.  I’ve nearly removed the word “dating” from my vocabulary and have replaced with “getting to know him.” Nor do I update my Facebook status each week to indicate “In a Relationship.” I need time to determine certain elements worthy of a man becoming a special partner in my life.  Take time to get to know someone.  Time also helps you understand your shortcomings better and how to improve. Allow enough time to ensure his words consistently mirror his actions.  He can only “fake the funk” for so long before true colors appear.

Those who have young daughters or know other single women, don’t let society identify her. Please remind her “what’s right with her.”

Nicole D. Hayes desires that girls understand their worth and know their identity. Nicole is the Women of L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. 1ST Director whereby she communicates the activities, goals, messages, mission and vision of this women’s leadership division. Women of L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. 1ST was inspired based on Nicole’s passion to empower and restore women through a global platform in partnership with the talents of other women who share the same passion, varying talents and embody the L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. 1ST core leadership traits. In addition to this role, alongside her brother, Nicole is also the co-founder of Pieces of Life, LLC a media relations consultancy based in Washington, D.C. Operating with a company and personal mantra of “making an investment in people,” she serves nonprofit organizations and small businesses desiring media visibility, but lack in-house expertise or budget to hire a full-service agency. She also has a background in broadcast journalism and uses that outlet to address issues for homeless persons and other disenfranchised women, individuals.

By Dawn Bauer McIntyre, Women of L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. 1ST

We each have a purpose for being here. In each of our lives we have heard names of people who have made a difference. People that have not only been motivated by a dream or a vision but actually stepped out in faith and walked toward fulfilling that which they were called to do. They may not have understood how but courageously kept taking the necessary steps. Have you ever wondered what our world would be like if these individuals didn’t act on their calling?

Mother Theresa…without her less fortunate, sick and destitute would have had no hope.

Bill Gates or Steve Jobs…. software and computers that allow us to learn and stay connected with the world may not have existed.

Thomas Edison, the Wright Brothers, Joni Eareckson Tada, Our Presidents, Musicians, Artists, Inventors, Scientists, Missionaries, and more.  The only difference between them and you, is the courage to act on their passion.

So here’s a thought to ponder: Each of us can make a monumental impact on the world. We may not be written into school history books or on TV, but there is a gift inside that is waiting to be birthed.  An idea, an act of service, that we already possess and now must take the same step of courage and share with the world in order to impact the lives of others.

These leaders also had the will and self-confidence to attempt the impossible and push the limits toward success. Each of the ones before us may have had humble beginnings, unpleasant childhoods or even a disability, but they didn’t allow themselves to be hindered from sharing their purpose. Through the belief in self and strenuous efforts, they had a magnificent impact on millions.

We each have the ability to do the same. The simple act of good intentions, courage and desire to make a difference can allow or purpose to influence and even change lives. Take a step, find your purpose and dare to make a difference! You already have the seed inside, now water, fertilize and share the fruit!

By Hakim Hazim, L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. 1ST Intervention Specialist

We have heard these phrases before:

“Between a rock and a hard place”

“Catch 22.”

“Dam*&! if I do and Dam*&!; if I don’t”

These phrases capture the essence of dilemmas in our lives. It’s here where our integrity and decision making abilities are put to the test. A dilemma is often defined as:

A situation that has two or more possible outcomes, but each is unsatisfactory or undesirable. In life we will have to deal with dilemmas and hard choices that may make life unpleasant or difficult. Here’s a short list of questions to ask when facing dilemmas:

Primary question:

What’s the right thing to do?

Secondary questions:

What are the short term and long term consequences I may suffer?

Who else will be impacted by my choice?

How do I ensure a resilient mindset?

How time sensitive is the dilemma?

Things to remember:

You are not alone; others have been in tough spots before.

Look to your networks for support.

Accept responsibility for your decision.

There is an order to this that makes things easier. When we simply do what’s right and focus on the weather or spillover secondly, we avoid the mental cartwheels so many people put themselves through when they avoid the obvious moral dimension of decision making. Life can be overwhelming and tough choices are all around us; yet, those that navigate through the Scylla and Charybdis, (choosing between two evils) are the ones equipped to lead others.

Hakim Hazim is the founder of Relevant Now Consultancy and L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. 1ST Intervention Specialist. Hakim has been immersed in research for at risk populations since 1993. His successful results confirmed first-hand that: “The price of incarceration in terms of expense for housing offenders is too much for society to consistently pay, and the future grows darker. Bluntly put, we can’t sustain the cost in lives or resources. It is my fervent belief that a productive tax-paying citizen is a far better option. Given the right tools, young people can change and lead positive lives.” As a certified Crisis Prevention Institute Senior Trainer and Behavior Intervention Specialist he specializes in the following various areas of security: counterterrorism, radical religious sects, gangs, juvenile delinquency and law enforcement approaches for mentally ill or challenged individuals. Hakim is also the creator of the 4Cs of Leadership trainings and MC2U: “Mentoring Challenge to You” initiative.

By Portia Dawson, Women of L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. 1ST

Everyone has a breaking point, but not everyone has coping skills. On January 5, 2012, a high school senior, who was going to be the valedictorian at his school, was found dead in his bed.  This young man had a perfect SAT and was accepted into the prestigious MIT.

A woman in New York lost her parent, then her husband, and her dog was diagnosed terminally ill within one year. Someone told her to, “Get over it.” As a nurse she knew exactly what pills and how much alcohol to consume to ease out of this life. She also fed her dog the same pills, believing it would not be cared for in her absence.

A famous retired professional football player, father, son, brother, hometown hero, restaurant owner, foundation leader, and beachfront property owner takes his life.

No one knows exactly what another person is going through.  There is no age on depression. In the world that we live and know, we see more commercials about depression and psychotropic medications than we ever before. We live in a world where people are hurting everyday. Some people tell others their problems and are looked down upon and viewed as a whining crybaby. People tell them that maybe what they are going through is “not that bad.” The issue is, it might not be bad for you, but it is overwhelming for the person going through it.

Everyday we are around people who by all accounts appear like they have it all together. The problem is, we cannot see what they went through to get out of bed (that is, if they can sleep at all).  We need to stop and listen closely to what people say to us.

Recently, my 26-year-old daughter expressed to me she was going through a hard time. She was feeling like there was so much she did not have and was not doing.  At first it seemed understandable, but as the days went by, I could see her getting worse.  I sat down with her and asked her to share with me whatever disappointments, regrets, whatever she was feeling. She told me that she just wanted to die and had been thinking about it for quite some time. I asked a few more questions and came to the conclusion that she had a plan. I asked her if she would be willing to go to the hospital with me and she agreed.

I know for me, I don’t let things get to me that I have no control over. I just believe that God will take care of the problem according to His will. The truth of the matter is when it gets to be too much some people need help getting through it.

When It Gets to Be Too Much

A Poem by Portia Dawson

The tears that are unseen, the cry unheard

The moments in silence without one single word

The pain the is so painful, the hurt that is untold

The mystery of the mind where the sorrows unfold

Don’t give up on hope, no not just yet

You are one of His children, don’t you ever forget

Portia Dawson defines her purpose as “empowering young women to stand up and be counted” and to also help girls “do the right thing” and avoid the relationship pitfalls she overcame. Portia is a Mentor Program Administrator for the National Police Athletic Leagues (P.A.L.) and based in San Diego, Calif. In this role, Portia developed a group that builds relationships with women who education, knowledge and passion for success. By this, she believes each young person’s life can be improved for healthier living by self-acknowledgment, self-assertion and self-confidence. In addition to a strong mental health field career, Portia works closely with the Latino Youth Council, The San Diego Oceans Foundation, Community Housing Works, and The California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation, and the San Diego Department of Education. Portia has served with the Women of L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. 1ST since May 2011.

By Nicole D. Hayes, Women of L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. 1ST, Director

If you do not know the name Patricia Krentcil of Newark, N.J., you may recognize her media nickname “Tanned Mom,” and have probably been shocked by photos of her deeply-tanned face. “Tanned Mom” (Patricia Krentcil) is a blonde, middle-aged, Caucasian woman who came under recent investigation after her then 5-year-old daughter came to school with a serious “sunburn.” School nurses and officials believed something more severe than a sunburn occurred to the girl’s skin, however, Krentcil expressed that her fair-skinned daughter was playing for hours in the sun and obtained a deep sunburn. Her daughter later shared that her mom took her to a tanning salon, where her mother may have subjected her to tanning. Krentcil denies this and says her daughter was only in the tanning room, and not the tanning bed.

Patricia Krentcil, 44, waits to be arraigned at the Essex County Superior Court, Wednesday, May 2, 2012 in Newark, N.J., where she appeared on charges of endangering her 5-year-old child by taking her into a tanning salon. Krentcil tells The Associated Press her daughter got her sunburn from being outside on a recent warm day. New Jersey state law prohibits anyone under 14 from using tanning salons.(AP Photo/Julio Cortez)

We are increasingly hearing of more women (and sometimes men) who find need to alter their appearances to feel more attractive and acceptable to the public. Some people (like Patricia Krentcil) have taken this to a level that is both physically disturbing to us and sends a warning flag that her issues are more than skin deep. Upon seeing her appearance our first and perhaps natural reaction is to laugh and shake our heads in disbelief. Yet, something within will burden our hearts with sadness.
While I am not a trained emotional or mental health care professional, such individuals seem to struggle with something more than superficial, perhaps deeper hurts and traumas. Physical augmentations are perhaps an attempt to mask and bury these painful events.
As the Women of L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. 1ST, we want to remind our girls and women they are beautiful as they were created. No changes, nose jobs, lip and butt implants required. We celebrate you as you are and seek to help you become whole–inside and out, so you may encourage others. We will certainly keep Ms. Krentcil and persons alike in our thoughts in hopes that those issues beneath the surface are surfaced and healed so she can be restored.

 
Nicole D. Hayes desires that girls understand their worth and know their identity. Nicole is the Women of L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. 1ST Director whereby she communicates the activities, goals, messages, mission and vision of this women’s leadership division. Women of L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. 1ST was inspired based on Nicole’s passion to empower and restore women through a global platform in partnership with the talents of other women who share the same passion, varying talents and embody the L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. 1ST core leadership traits. In addition to this role, alongside her brother, Nicole is also the co-founder of Pieces of Life, LLC a media relations consultancy based in Washington, D.C. Operating with a company and personal mantra of “making an investment in people,” she serves nonprofit organizations and small businesses desiring media visibility, but lack in-house expertise or budget to hire a full-service agency. She also has a background in broadcast journalism and uses that outlet to address issues for homeless persons and other disenfranchised women, individuals.

By Dawn Bauer McIntyre, Women of L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. 1ST

Sometimes life places us in challenging situations. Often times, these challenges require more of us emotionally, mentally, personally and professionally than we believe we have to give. Sometimes it’s not even a particular event that challenges us: it may be challenges from other people.

Perhaps your co-worker or supervisor causes you stress on the job, or a spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend challenges your patience and requires growth in certain areas. Or even someone you are mentoring does not reciprocate the kind responses you’ve presented to them. Continue giving your best.

It’s in these encounters where we have to “dig deep” and go beyond our natural human response to react in anger, hate or violence. We must keep moving forward in faith, in love, in mercy and in service to those persons who offend us. We  must continue to give the world our best despite these external challenges.  By doing so, we are planting a seed that may help them overcome past hurts so they can heal and in turn begin to love themselves and others. We never know what someone is going through and our example of love may be the very thing to reverse a challenging situation.

I was inspired by a passage placed on the Facebook page of Survivor’s Pathway, an organization that provides support to persons in or recovering from abusive relationships. The passage gives direction to how we should respond to others who don’t necessarily treat us as they should. Certainly, if you’re in a violent relationship, you need to seek immediate help and place of safety.  But for those of us in everyday life encounters with “difficult” people, I hope you take something from the words to strengthen you on your journey to being your best:

By Hakim Hazim, L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. 1ST Intervention Specialist

Americana is defined as “pertaining to materials, music or genres associated with American culture or history.” I think it is helpful to daily reflect on what one cherishes the most about this country and the opportunities afforded us. By cultivating a deep sense of gratitude, we come to understand why the things that are unique about our culture are worth preserving and defending. What I find most fascinating about America is the idea and premise behind it:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”  -Declaration of Independence July 4^th, 1976

Anyone who has ever taken even a cursory look at history understands that the majority of people who have walked the earth throughout the millenniums have not enjoyed much measure of freedom. Today we still enjoy tremendous opportunities, even in difficult times. Regardless of the history of her transgressions, Lady Liberty shines as a beacon of hope for the world, and a reminder of opportunity for you. I hope you take time to reflect on the nearly 236 years we have been in existence and the privileges afforded you. The culture of this country has created unique individuals capable of leading the world. It’s time for you to step up. What are you waiting for?

Hakim Hazim is the founder of Relevant Now Consultancy and L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. 1ST Intervention Specialist. Hakim has been immersed in research for at risk populations since 1993. His successful results confirmed first-hand that: “The price of incarceration in terms of expense for housing offenders is too much for society to consistently pay, and the future grows darker. Bluntly put, we can’t sustain the cost in lives or resources. It is my fervent belief that a productive tax-paying citizen is a far better option. Given the right tools, young people can change and lead positive lives.” As a certified Crisis Prevention Institute Senior Trainer and Behavior Intervention Specialist he specializes in the following various areas of security: counterterrorism, radical religious sects, gangs, juvenile delinquency and law enforcement approaches for mentally ill or challenged individuals. Hakim is also the creator of the 4Cs of Leadership trainings and MC2U: “Mentoring Challenge to You” initiative.

Kareen Riviere, PhD, Women of L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. 1ST

Think Like a Man, Act Like a Lady is a movie about typical men’s and women’s thoughts and behaviors as they navigate through romantic relationships. The movie is based on the best selling, relationship advice book (same title) by actor/comedian Steve Harvey. The movie’s premise: for women to get what they want from a romantic relationship (i.e. girlfriend title, a wedding proposal) they should think like a man, but act like a lady. In other words, women should be aware of men’s thoughts and goals when dating while maintaining a lady-like behavior.

I agree with a lot of the advice in the book and movie—especially Steve’s advice to wait at least 90 days (preferably more) before having sex.  However, I think the most important advice regarding romantic relationships (or any kind of relationship for that matter) was not stressed nearly enough. Above all else, I believe it is important to be yourself and act according to your morals and values.

The purpose of dating is to find a great partner—someone who will truly appreciate you, your passions, values, goals, and dreams.  If a woman is hoping to marry a rich/successful man but he does not share her values or appreciates her goals/dreams, then he definitely is not a good match for her. In that situation, the woman would be compromising herself to be with this man. Too often, women betray their core values just to have a man, any man, so as not to be single. Some women are single because they have discounted the guy with the not so great résumé even though he appreciates her and her passions and similar values.  I know that I have presented only two cases out of many.  However, my point remains that in all relationship situations, it is important to honor yourself and choose a partner based on your morals and values.

I recommend that women should think and act like a Woman of L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. 1^ST:

L…Stay LOYAL to your values.

E…EDUCATE yourself on your partner’s values and passions before moving to the next level in the relationship.

A…Be ACCOUNTABLE for your actions.

D…Be DISCIPLINED. No “cookie” until you are ready for a sexual relationship (and all that comes with being in one).

E…EMPOWER yourself to never compromise what you stand for.

R…RESPECT yourself, your body, and your partner.

S…Be of SERVICE. Treat your partner exactly how you want to be treated.

H…Be HONEST about who you are, and openly share what your passions/values are.

I…Always maintain your INTEGRITY. Your word is your bond!

P…PERSEVERE. There is someone out there who will love you for exactly who you are!

As a woman in the Science, Technology, Engineering and Medicine (STEM) field—a field men typically outnumber, Dr. Kareen Riviere knows what it means to “not fit in.”  Kareen shares her story with other girls of overcoming self-esteem and self-image issues, surviving bullying and how to make “standing out/not fitting in” work to one’s advantage. Kareen is also the Founder, President and Executive Director of The Empower Foundation, Inc., a Maryland-based nonprofit she founded in December 2010. Kareen, who has family in Haiti, was heartbroken by the devastating January 2010 earthquake that killed over 200,000 Haitians and has left over 1 million Haitians living in tent camps. The Empower Foundation’s mission is to empower people and communities to have a voice, take action, and better their quality of life. The first project of The Empower Foundation focuses on women and girls in Haiti who are in danger of becoming sexually assaulted due to lack of security in tent camps.  Therefore, The Empower Foundation is dedicated to empowering women and girls in Haiti to protect themselves and take a stand against sexual violence.

By Nicole D. Hayes, Women of L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. 1ST, Director

There are many challenges facing our girls; here in the U.S. and in other countries. Some of the countries we can easily locate on a map and others we never knew their existence on the globe. We may not personally interact with these girls facing desolate situations, yet our distance from them doesn’t mean the problems will magically disappear. All of our girls and women count—all of them.

For the Women of L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. 1ST, we know a girl or woman who is equipped and empowered to change her situation can help to empower others. An empowered woman or girl can and will change the world; there’s no question. She just needs to be given a chance and the right tools, whether it’s mentoring, leadership development or other.

The Girl Effect, a virtual media campaign that uses creative imagery to communicate compelling messages with a call to action, has been effective in informing audiences of negative, life-altering issues impacting young girls in communities across the country. The Girl Effect tells us that one empowered girl can positively effect her decisions, her family, her immediate community and the lives of many for better for future generations. One girl. Can you imagine what we can do together to help one girl and many?

I along with several others are a fan of the Girl Effect videos created by the Nike Foundation, with other production partners. I invite you to view these two, 2-3 minute videos about how one empowered girl can change her world.

Girl Effect Video                     We Have a Situation 

Nicole D. Hayes desires that girls understand their worth and know their identity. Nicole is the Women of L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. 1ST Director whereby she communicates the activities, goals, messages, mission and vision of this women’s leadership division. Women of L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. 1ST was inspired based on Nicole’s passion to empower and restore women through a global platform in partnership with the talents of other women who share the same passion, varying talents and embody the L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. 1ST core leadership traits. In addition to this role, alongside her brother, Nicole is also the co-founder of Pieces of Life, LLC a media relations consultancy based in Washington, D.C. Operating with a company and personal mantra of “making an investment in people,” she serves nonprofit organizations and small businesses desiring media visibility, but lack in-house expertise or budget to hire a full-service agency. She also has a background in broadcast journalism and uses that outlet to address issues for homeless persons and other disenfranchised women, individuals.